A Way In

by Raven
(Exalta)

At first I resisted
Put up my icy walls
Born of the myriad of hurts
That clung to my broken soul

Never trusting, ever watching
Blocking your advances with ease
Stuck in the past with misguided desires
That I thought were meant for me

Not seeing the truth
Only calling you friend
Never a thought for a different way
Happiness was never meant for me from now until the end

Despite my endeavours you found a way in
And sowed tiny patches of hope
But so firm my demon beliefs long held and hard lived
Whispered words of rejection sorely felt

I pushed you away with all that I had
Until one day I turned and looked back
And realised that the way forward
Could never be found in the past

So I let you back in, bit by bit
Falling down time and time again
Letting all who had gone before you
Ever shape the person that I am

A rare moment of clarity, resistance fell
I heard and felt every word you said
With my heart, my mind and my ragged soul
I let the light take me into its depths

For it was there that you waited
Your dark love shining for me alone
With dawning wonder I opened my eyes
And saw a future never imagined before

Maybe if I hadn’t resisted
Our love may have been shallow and weak
Never thriving before it had perished
What is now could never have been

It has been hard, it has hurt
We have been to the depths of despair
But we kept fighting, we stayed strong
And triumphed in the end

My heart is full now
And it is yours
Walls enduring but not for you
I’m glad that although I resisted, you found the right path through