Childhood

by Amber Sweet
(United Kingdom)

From the age of five, I was performing live, sat in a room, I hid my doom, watching the children play, knowing that there will never be a day, tears slipping down my face, you were judging me 'cause of my race, I cried myself to sleep every night, waiting to walk into the light, you'd get me up in the middle of the night, and said if I didn't do this right, you'd punish and hit me, how could this be, sitting alone at my desk in school, everyone said I was not cool,the teacher always asked me about my bruises, I just said who ever wins loses, she said she didn't understand, I said you wouldn't your not on my land, I was all alone on my land, no-one ever did understand, just how much torture and pain I went through, there was never anything new, no toys or games for me to play, putting on a smile everyday, I sit in the room, I showed my gloom, the children looked at me from the park, they could see all my dark, they wandered across to the window, just to say hello, I opened up my window and said hello myself, their names were James, Chloe, Jimmy and Claire, they all asked what I was doing there, I told them working for my dad, if I didn't finish he'd do something bad, they got it right, they said he'd go mad, I had made four friends, none of them were broken none of them I could mend, he came down the stairs, I never saw his glare, they all stopped talking and stared behind me, slowly I turned around he had caught me, I said please don't hit me in front of my friends, he said friends you're all alone you show your gloom to no-one, I told him my gloom, my doom has been found, and then that's when he hit me, my head hit the ground, I was knocked out cold, when I woke up my friends had gone, then I remembered I had none, it was just a dream I said to the air, my dad came in and said I couldn't care, my heart was pounding fast and hard, he had bent it like a piece of card, he said I hope you realise, that your dreams are just dust, I just said there's no trust, to this day, I have my way, people know me, I still say how could this be, People say I'm crazy, but children are amazing, don't judge me for the childhood I've never had nor known, have I even grown?