Christmas for the survivor

by The Wid0w

Christmas for the survivor


On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me
A remote for our color TV (him having worn out the first one)


On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me
2 cordless drills (they can never have enough of them) and a remote for our color TV


On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me
3 French maids (hmmm I’m beginning to wonder who these gifts are for ) 2 cordless drills and a remote for our color TV


On the forth day of Christmas my true love sent to me
4 calling cards (pre-paid for the mobile phone hmmm why's he wanting to cut out the itemized bill) 3 French maids, 2 cordless drills and a remote for our color TV


On the fifth day of Christmas my true love left for me
5 golden ring pulls (as well as the assorted empty cans of beer left around the living room) 4 calling cards, 3 French maids, 2 cordless drills, and a remote for our color TV


On the 6th day of Christmas my true love sent to me
6 geese for stuffing (he could have asked me about hosting the darned office Christmas meal), 5 golden ring pulls, 4 calling cards, 3 French maids, 2 cordless drills and a remote for the color TV


On the 7th day of Christmas my true love sent to me
7 salmon for skinning (co's he buggered off fishing all day leaving me to handle the preparations for Christmas party on my own), 6 geese for stuffing, 5 golden ring pulls, 4 calling cards, 3 French maids, 2 cordless drills, and a remote for the color TV


On the 8th day of Christmas my true love sent to me
8 maids a calling (hmm they hung up pretty darned quick when I answered the phone) 7 salmon for skinning (come to think of it they didn’t seem that fresh hmmmm) 6 geese for stuffing, 5 golden ring pulls, 4 calling cards, 3 French maids, 2 cordless drills, and a remote for the color TV


On the 9th day of Christmas my true love sent to me
9 hours wondering (hmmm where the heck he’s got to …he only popped out for some cigs ) 8 maids a calling (hmm is there a connection there) 7 salmon for skinning (they defiantly were not fresh) 6 geese for stuffing, 5 golden ring pulls, 4 calling cards, 3 French maids, 2 cordless drills and a remote for the color TV


On the 10th day of Christmas my true love is really starting to piss me off
10 pals are playing(that darned play station is going to end up where the sun don’t shine) 9 hours wondering, 8 maids a calling, 7 salmon for skinning, 6 geese for stuffing, 5 golden ring pulls, 4 calling cards, 3 French maids, 2 cordless drills, and a remote for the color TV


On the 11th day of Christmas my true love sent to me
11 ladies leering (now I know why he didn’t want me to attend this darned party) 10 pals are playing, 9 hours wondering, 8 maids a calling, 7 salmon for skinning, 6 geese for stuffing, 5 golden ring pulls, 4 calling cards, 3 French maids, 2 cordless drills, and a remote for the color TV


On the 12th day of Christmas I left his sorry behind, served the divorce papers …and now I’m off to find some lords to leap on