Closed lips

by J. Steen
(The Netherlands)

When all else in my mind closes to become something dark, I sense the pain
A light closes in my mind, for every time that you cross my mind I regret
A painful regret that lies within my own mistakes, shortcomings of my own become clear as day.
The truth that hides inside of me never comes out. The mistakes of not speaking my mind.
You denied my kindness, unaware of what you did. The pain builds up and eats away at me.
Like a parasite feeding on my sorrow, a pain that will grow for eternity.

I'll show you my pride through a peculiar form. Though alas, your eyes cannot see what my intentions are.
When we meet I feel a urge gnawing at me that just can't be satisfied. I am unable to do what I want to do.
My mouth closes as the words reach my lips, as what I intend to say gets swallowed and something inside me collapses.
The truth that hides in this mind of mine shall grow ever more precarious.
I hate myself for lacking the will to push through. A weight insufferable to many lies upon my shoulders. Preventing me from thinking clearly

Your presence so light, your intentions so pure. my feelings hidden away in the shadow that will soon reach my sanity.
You are golden to me, no imperfections. Always brightening my day whenever I see you.
But once I leave I feel worse, weeping over the things I could not get myself to do.
Actions I have not taken at perfect opportunities.

I wish for you to be happy, I want you by my side.
Without that I would rather die, though that is never the solution, for it will cause you to weep. A thing insufferable to me.
Things you should never need to do in your life, things I want to provide support for.

Days go by as I remember the times I was close to you. Rubbing your back to relieve you of the pain you have to endure.
Pain that weighs more on my shoulders than it would ever truly harm you. The times we spent together I cherish with all of my heart.
The times we spent, you would brighten my mood with your ever growing beauty.
Your silly sneeze, funny actions and the way you laughed at my silly jokes. Feelings that break me down from inside crush me.

My sorrow grows ever bigger.
Emanating darkness.
Remembering you.
Always on my mind
Love is all I need.

I need to tell you

Loving you is all I can
Overwhelming my other emotions.
Venomous as it might be
Evermore in my heart

Your face so pretty
Oblivious things course through my mind
Unveiling my mind true feelings impossible


Farewell for now, I wish to reveal these feelings but I am unable to collect the courage.
My feelings shall stay hidden until I have gained enough power
Everything inside me screams, but on this subject I lack the wisdom

Why can't I bring myself to tell you...