FARE THEE WELL

by DAMO!
(Dublin)

When I have to get a Taxi it always drives me mad
Guaranteed to make me angry, the service is so bad
Leaving me so frustrated, the only time I curse
Yes things have degenerated and it is only getting worse
When you really need one, there is not one to be found
But when the urgency is gone, suddenly they abound
You could give them a ring, but you will have to wait
You can be sure of one thing, they will always be late

All they say is “It’s Tough”, we have heard it all before
We all know there are not enough but they will not permit anymore
What about supply and demand, they have a monopoly
That lets them take a hand at the likes of you and me
It is impossible after the pubs, when demand is at its height
But even worse after the clubs, when you could wait all night
What is needed is competition, they have it all their own way
Which leaves us in the position of being the ones that pay.

Cars are dirty and smelly, some downright dangerous
But the attitude seems to be “they are good enough for us”
And many drivers I must say, leave a lot to be desired
In any other profession would they ever have been hired?
Deodorant, a shave, a wash? Maybe dress up a bit?
And surely conversational English should be a requisite?
And it is shameful, in fact a downright pity
So many have a questionable knowledge of our city!

You have an idea of the cost, the quickest way from here to there
But the drivers often seem to be lost, or are they bumping up the fare?
And all the extra charges, before you even get in the car
We expect that it will cost us, but it has gone way too far
I feel sorry for the tourists, even the dog in the street knows
That many taxi men are opportunists, will make them pay through the nose
They only work when they choose, not when there is a need
So let us put an end to their ruse, they have it far too cosy indeed

This monopoly cannot be right, they can charge their own price
So what if they have to fight if it gives you and me more choice
They must find it very funny, laugh all the way to the bank
They do not care, it is easy money, but they have us all to thank
We all know it has to stop, the customer is always right
So let us smash this closed shop, make the regulations tight
Then we may not wait hours on end, they may not take the phone off the hook,
There could be a taxi around every bend, in fact everywhere we look

Let’s make them run after us, chase custom everywhere
They could be as cheap as the bus or at least the price might be fair
The drivers may even be nice, not always so moody and thick
If they know we have a real choice they might not dismiss us so quick
It might make them clean up their act, realise they are there to serve us
Because it seems they have forgotten the fact they are a public service
So let's see more taxis out there, we won’t know until we have tried
Change the rules so the game is fair, stop them taking us for a ride

© Damian Murphy DAMO! 2013