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by matthew scott harris
(bryn mawr, pa, usa.)

i experienced discrimination.

I defy conformity and field apropos abilities with scads of literary antics to best
Buy thee interest of whoever doth reed and vet suitable candidates, and chest
O'mine heaves with anticipation wonder how the purveyor donning figurative Crampons
(that trumpet each dicey and icy echo wing step of mine kempf) rivals Everest
to scale (albeit without any rich hard gear equipment 'cept a perceptive noggin) egg guest
as company to share a lite snack or drink, what’re suits yar be hest
and of course interjections of good humor, cuz such wittiness and jest
kin help download a lightness of being, and gentle byte of comical banter an aid lest
the head honcho all business, as evident by desk pinterest ting nest
ill suited for spontaneity and streaming one-liners, that could be a pest
to the ambition of him/her aiming to game the dialogue to nab the quest
of productive money in the side pocket, where trick up the sleeve also rest
viz this electron koo laid AC/DC jumper linkedin test
and...well no animals harmed in the writing of this guy noir who lives west
of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania - and would (if by some fluke offered job) exclaim
(while astride his high Trojan Horse) a muffled, mumbled, and muted zest.
GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT QUEST - dashed off by an ancestor ova Decembrist
a harried styled and swiftly tailored Russian revolutionary,
who in December 1825 - got pissed
led (with limited posse sub billet tee), an unsuccessful revolt
against Tsar Nicholas I grabbing his righteous left wrist
whence leaders (including this nebulous genealogical firecracker)
executed and later came to be regarded as martyrs by the Left.
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pixar could nada pay enough for this trainer of apple chomping antz
so i wonder if any chance hello (Morris the) kitty whisker of employment
thru this contrived virtual toy story qua ratatouille poetic brew
could materialize into a likely chance
such an idea generates me to shrek out with excitement
and do a wop ping hip-hop improvisational thespian dance
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just in case a glimmer of some prospect exists
for this self anointed bard and one who dislikes formality
of Belmont hills now presents his technical skills
which i hopes to enhance
hence this chap offers following poetic expression
nada common and did not german ate in France
to take a glance
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to help this intuitive Homo sapiens
overcoming Bing a deep pull lore able bass kit self to enhance
sharp pen his mental acuity like a lance
which byte size bit torrent humor
might cause ye to soil your pants
after misinterpreting this mishmash as raves and rants
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even part time income would buoy
ma Petsmart gull sans positive stance
with a subtle intent to place me as worth hiring,
to sway some au currant series electronic charge
and ideally affect hypnotic trance
in effort for consideration to ad-vance.
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I betcha never read a pseudo cover letter reply
like a this iambic pentameter electronic wire
from a boyish looking blood muggle father up in years
(whose nonpareil courage to face voldemort never does tire)
and two near grown doll ling daughters would consider him a worthy hire
less so to rake in gobs of money,
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but to satiate nearly unquenchable hunger and thirst
for further (ahem) bits of computer fields,
and pad the family big bird nest
while watering this stream of consciousness babbling
brook bass adder know how to acquire.
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this faux cover letter of sorts conveys an itty bitty
raw bit miniscule orbitz size actual work experience
(from this older papa, who lives west of the philadelphia city)
nonetheless, i hanker (NOT to be confused with HACKER)
divergent words differ by juiced one letter
which prompts the following ditty.
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Computer trouble shooting abilities of mine
thine appetite to comprehend,
aye ascribe as BuzzFeed ding nitty gritty
nebulous as on par with the secret life of one walter mitty
whom destiny protected and took pity
merely meant to be silly
boot hoop fully entertaining as a gig from the late Conway Twitty
yet also an attempt to be witty.
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no matter how many miles by car
(actually your company might be
within dead man walking distance)
this opportunity would not be considered to far
also hoop ping responding in rhyme considered creative and har
dull cause for overlooking an opportunity for me to inside the open doo a jar
and communicate with modest casual fashion trying knot to mar
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ma duke king chances by dressing dishabille,
to prove hike kin use my acumen
interest, language skills and technologically spar
using graphical user interface programs
to get unstuck from virtual feathery tar.
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Iambic pentameter might not constitute traditional
standard genre for a debtor
I see no reason with rhyme
why my own non-conformist modus operandi
cannot serve as me own mode to communicate pursuit
as a computer repair technician and letterman go getter
which honest to goodness confession
hopefully affects against other respondents at least a bit better.
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this pure breed mud half blood muggle prince
this bona fide seeker for challenging income
does reckon the following poetic way
not necessarily follows the formalities
to reply as most would readily say
yet why adhere to conformity,
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whereby his paradigm frowns on creative r ray
which atypical modus operandi
to reply a positive reply and job i pray
even if the outcome per offering my interest turns out to be nay
perhaps because where mien hometown - bryn mawr
West of Philadelphia frito band eat toe lay.
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LivingSocial within southeastern Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
the general domain since me birth
the resume (quite slim as jail grub gruel) may show a dearth
yet decided to resort to verse to induce a byte size mirth
of requisite (sought after) technical expertise,
i do possess the attributes well worth.
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If you might just allow me to boast
and blithely use iambic pentameter to coast
maybe even given the opportunity to eradicate
re: exorcise any binary elusive ghost
and offer bytes of helpful information from this pc host
thus with brio and confidence i respond to your post.
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so...without further ado i will slightly brag
to tell of an ability to conduct understand dos
manage common passé system utilities
such as scan disk and defrag
installed, resolved dsl issues, performed
scan-disk and troubleshooting glitches
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such as removal of dos files, installation
and/or removal of hardware
likewise uninstalling software, running registry sweeps
in an attempt to remove bugs and errors
that cause this machine to cough and gag
which invariably causes such processes as downloading,
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sending, uploading, et cetera to lag
like gently goading an overloaded old nag
who if an aged horse an actual human,
would warrant sweat wicked off brow with rag
and if chance smiles on further consideration
like a happy pup his tail will wag.
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Oh...and by the way
(gnome hatter a no...no and taboo topic de jure),
I would accept a starting
and/or negotiable salary as a starting wage
in an effort to support this self proclaimed sage
whose role can double up as a court jester, joker, or page
hopeful this poetic synopsis offers a favorable gauge
and in tandem enriching my fount of knowledge
more valuable at this advanced age.
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y'all might think this reply balderdash and rot
which may matter bo diddly squat
no matter i herald from royalty with salient strengths
as being a prestigious scott
butta masta harris
does not smoke booze nor drink from a chamber pot
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and a student of the establishment he is not
one to boast about his knick knack paddy whack…to craft a bon mot
yet moxie by maxima proxy this poet of Bryn Mawr doth got
and might elicit salient characteristics similar to a humanoid bot
and, oh by the way,
I lived in lower merion for some year’s quite alot.