Hard to smile

by Robert A.3rd aka Tha Kid
(Dallas,Texas)

its hard to smile,
when i look at my life,
since i was a child,
I've been having to fight,
not just fight,
with these ghetto kids,
but having to fight,
with the way we live,
my popz wuz gone,
did he even care?
its alright to be wrong,
but at least be there,
cuz it wuz hard for mom,
when she wuz there all alone,
she could've moved on,
cuz i know it got old,
but she worked everyday,
just tryna make it work,
but when she worked i went and played,
out there playing in the dirt,
and i ain't talking bout dirt,
that you can find in the ground,
I'm talking bout dirt,
I wish I never found,
I've seen some thangz in the street,
thatz gunna stick with me for life,
I see it when I go to sleep,
in the darkest of the night,
I got put away as a kid,
at the age of fourteen,
I wuz out there packin hollow tips,
with infrared laserbeams,
I wuz released when I wuz seventeen,
but the streets they didnt change,
I quickly bought another heat,
cuz I wuz tryna play the game,
this brief story on my pad,
is before eighteen years old,
all my sinz and pain after that,
you don't even wanna know,\
so when people tell me why I always look mad,
everything is worth while,
I start to tell em but they'll never understand,
why it's hard for me to smile.