It was all fake

by Mrs.Sparckles

All I ever did was hide my agony behind a laugh just to cheer you up 'cause I knew the problems you went through

All though you never told me the truth from the beginning I can't lie and say I will stop loving you

Because including you and i...we both know im too broken to move on

Is this what you wanted to see??

Me remaining committed to something that is now an illusion.When I can't look up at another pair of eyes without feeling guilty that those pair of eyes aren't yours?

Your everywhere.walking passed me like I'm a stranger,in the memories I somehow can't forget,but most of all your still in my heart.Is this what they call a heartbreak?

All this is driving me insane.but what could you expect...my body is made of water so there is no question as to why im so emotional about this.

As to why I made a whole poem explaining my pain when there is not a single person in this God damn place that understands me..AT ALL!!

We struggled many times to be happy... at least I did
All I ever did was toxicate myself with the thought of us being happy together.Maybe even creating a family one day.

But all those weren't things you thought about right?!You didn't give a shit as to what would happen to us..all you wanted was to show your friends that you had a shawty that loved you more than you could pretend to love her back

I always wondered if things would have been different if I showed you the real me...the me I was afraid to show you cause of insecurities I told you about but said ' There are all just in your head'

before...thats right before all this massacre happened

Before all the arrows of pain shot through my heart multiple times
Now I know how soldiers feel when they enter the battlefield and end up losing...

But thats just a blurred vision,an aftermath of drowning in my own fears that had come true because of you.Seeing myself break down into multiple tears while you fly free

Free from me and all the crap I put you through...i shouldn't be sorry but I am..the only thing is im not sorry for you but for me

Yea you heard it right I..I pity myself cause up to now I still can't find a reason to hate you even after all the hell you had put me through I will still love you

I love you
Those words we said often when we would argue and then laugh cause you made a silly face to lighten up the mood.These words that I said so carelessly, trying to make myself believe you when you said 'I miss you

Why do you hurt me?
It's funny how we were in love and now I see you pass by me like we are strangers
...but soon I will be fine...
fine with you moving on from me..fine with you forgetting our promises,
And one day, I'll be fine with you forgetting me