It Wasn't Your Fault

by Eileen
(Torbay)

Missing your childhood memories and dreams,
It fell apart at the faded seams,
It can be stitched together again,
Each thread that is sewn is not in vain,
Putting colours back in your life,
Colouring the pain trouble and strife,
Cut with scissors not with the knife.

You can help make a brand new start,
Mind, body, soul is fed from the heart,
Get up, reach out, and learn to speak out,
Can you swim, can you wade, learn to float,
Ride the waves, feel the rush, swim to shore,
Tread the sand underfoot, who wants more,
Feeling good, new life in every pore.

What a scandal in the family,
It's not your responsibility,
Lest they decide not to seek justice,
You will never find solace and peace,
Must reach out further to an angel,
Leave the group to eternal wrangle,
Its not so bad being in exile.

YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME, its not your fault,
You were a child, they were adults,
You were small, they towered above,
Were teaching you the wrong kind of love,
Don`t make excuses, do not feel guilty,
Open your eyes for the world to see,
How stronger you are, let it so be.

Do not be ashamed, there is no shame,
Child you were taught that it was a game,
Innocent child, you were not to know
To their level, you wouldn't stoop so low,
Powerful in making you follow,
You feel now, you are not so hollow,
Pain is going, fading, let it go.

You want to shout and you want to scream,
Seeking peace and rest and time to dream,
Let it all out and shout, it feels right,
Do not fight it scream with all your might,
Feel free, set it free, make yourself heard,
Sing your heart out and be assured,
You're halfway to being healed and cured.

Don`t let them win do not take your life,
Live your life, good husband or wife,
Be a good parent sister or brother,
Son or daughter or friend or lover,
Aunt or uncle, and niece or nephew,
Be anything you want, to be true,
Find out who you are, learn and discover.

Those that hurt are incredibly cruel,
Not just hand or strap but any tool,
Many that do hurt are hurt inside,
The pain they feel they just cannot hide,
They chose to carry on the legacy,
And the wrath of god they vent on thee,
For an alternative they can`t see.

Take the pain and throw it in the air,
Look up to the sky and pick a star,
What you cannot see, the big black hole,
That will take the pain swallow it whole,
How many have suffered the same as thee,
Count the stars and you will see,
There's even more stars you won`t believe.

Ignorance is their bliss turning away,
Abandoning shocking what you say,
They will come round to hear your story,
Hard to hear, its not Jackanory,
To those that will listen quietly,
With understanding not sympathy,
Seek out they that have empathy.

Contemplate your health and well being,
Concentrate on your care and healing,
Patiently one by one sort them out,
Making you stronger still, do not doubt,
Then you can face the bigger issues,
Incorporate dreams and wishes choose,
Determined and brave you will not lose.

Some need to find tranquility,
Up on the mountain, down by the sea,
Seeking a haven, no disturbance,
You may need to travel a distance,
A holiday or sanctuary,
At peace with oneself, necessary,
Wander away imaginary.

Need a spring clean, get up dust yourself,
Neglected you're not, jump off the shelf,
Brush out the cobwebs, polish your shoes,
Take the broom, sweep away the tissues,
Mop away the tears, mop away fears,
Soak away stains, wash the smears,
Inside, outside, you are one who cares.

No one there to hear desperate cries,
None to see through lies and alibis,
They did not and could not feel your pain,
Under their spell controlling their gain,
You dared not speak and you dared not tell,
Alone in the dark you knew of hell,
Praying to god to send an angel.

How blue are you, how blue is the sky,
How many clouds crammed with tears you sigh,
Let the sun shine down and feel its warmth,
Feel it soak in and absorb its worth,
The sun will shine down on every one all,
Shelter in shade see the glory above all,
Don`t let it burn to your fragile soul.

Your not a victim but a survivor,
Alive, stronger, you will endeavor,
Believe in yourself, know who you are,
Trust your instincts, feel it to the core,
Close away the pain behind the door,
Lock it and bolt it, come to the fore,
Lose the key, bury the room under the floor.

To survive each day is a challenge,
Forgiving is hard, don`t seek revenge,
Forgiving is easier on the inner soul,
In this life, you may well have a roll,
Trust in others to help the healing,
To guide you on the path of feeling,
Know what love is, the sky your ceiling.

Not so numb, you do have feelings,
Buried deep, stored away waiting,
Leap out of the darkness, scream and shout,
Don`t be afraid, there is no one about,
Anger is scary and hard to vent,
Know of where it's going, where it's sent,
Into a pillow and let it rent.

They controlled, manipulated you,
Now you are the leader that is true,
They have no hold, you have no fear,
You know what love is and what is dear,
Cruel and evil, bitter and twisted,
These emotions you have resisted,
You are free, safe and sure, no hands tied.

Creativity let loose, be free,
Writing painting choose any hobby,
Inspiration not necessary,
Pick up pen, pick up brush you will see,
From inside out you will come alive,
Have the patience, keep the faith, believe,
As from a distance you will arrive.

Desperately feeling sad and alone,
Reach out, you are not the only one,
Pick up the phone or write a letter,
Talking or writing makes it better,
Communication forms connection,
Action on your part brings reaction,
Negative positive bring it on.

This poem written by a survivor

He comes into my room again,
To play our secret game,
I don`t know what to do,
Is it because he loves you?
He tells me not to tell,
Or l will go to hell,
The money he gives,
Buys me lots of sweets,
It's my fault what he does,
I feel so bad and used,
When will it stop?
Sometimes it hurts,
Went on for years and years,
I blocked it out with tears,
As I've grown and got old,
I felt so alone,
It was not my fault he was bad,
He is the sad and evil man.