Keg gull buoy ™

by matthew scott harris
(schwenksville, pennsylvania)

(my fashionably late xmas greeting
could long foster for this century 21 a meeting
of thee poetic minds pleasantry sent once
boot not worth reap peat ting).

up in the air
mine barrel sized girth
sloshes with cheap beer
wishing many strangers

happy holidays and good cheer
making me suitable
as santa claus and his team of rein deer
chewing gum to avoid

popping in both left and right ear
yet the rickety sleigh
may not become air borne I fear
landing ungracefully
scattering presents and gear

if wooden contraption alights,
a horrendous crash many will hear
no doubt instigating
children and adults to jeer

comparing this jolly fellow to king lear
yet running for the hills
as this mad man gets considerably near
the madding crowd,

who expected a more
healthy saint nick to a pear
with healthy physique
instead of the trademark outsize rear

which cause for observers
to guffaw and sneer
whereby my trademark suit
will seemingly tear

and reveal that this clown
wears frilly under wear
prompting me to avoid
accepting this role for next year.