Loosing a Good Thing.

by y_gonzalez

I never thought I'd be feeling this way. It's the guilt that eats me away. Tomorrow I'll wake up and see a new day but I know you won't be there to say the same. Oh how it's a lonely night, you can hear the silent cries and up above even the moon hides. I try to look for hope but I know it's been taken, all I got left is a heart full of mistakes and you know I've tried to shape it. Talking to you felt as if it was a fantasy, seemed like eternity when you wouldn't answer me. Ever since the beginning we hit it off, I'd talk to you on the daily. Everyday, every minute, every second of it was just so amazing. We laughed about the littlest things and everything else was just a fling. We didn't care about no one else because we knew we had each other and when times got rough we'd always try and help one another. I felt our connection grow and grow by the second at first I was unsure but you'd tell me to stop second guessing. I thought you were like the rest but it ends up you were nothing but one of the best. Good attitude and nice personality too, you were a hardworking young man just trying to make your loot. Whenever you felt pain I tried to imagine the same, the struggle in life wasn't easy but you managed a change. I remember you telling me your father was getting out of prison.. I felt your happiness I don't know why you kept being superstitious. You had it all planned out I knew it was a dream to soon come true. Things between us ran so smoothly, I remember when you told me you wanted to get through to me. You knew I was feeling you and you were feeling me too, didn't take me long to open up to you. I trusted you, I put my heart in you, it was like leaving my life on the line for you. In return I got the same, trust, compassion, and no games. It all felt too good to be true and just this once it was good to be true. I loved the texting, the flirting, the playing, late night conversations.. You know what I'm saying. I always got nervous talking on the phone, I was a little shy but you didn't mind staying a bit more. When I heard your voice for the first time it was a soothing tone, reassuring, strong man I knew you were. We lived so close yet it seemed so far away, a few blocks down but you were there to stay. You always meant good to me, assured me you weren't gonna hurt me and I told you the same, I said I wasn't playing any games. I ended up lying.. I left you with no shame. It was a choice between one and another and this time you were just another. I was hoping you'd understand my feelings, waiting for something so long you beginning to lose feeling. I told you I didn't want him but deep inside I knew it was everything I ever wanted. You left me with no trace, you didn't even hesitate. I knew I'd done wrong.. I lost a good thing. Now if you can hear my cry I just want to apologize for the pain I caused you, if you felt any. I know I'm too late and I don't know why things had to end this way.. But the good always die young. Please help my sorrow, It can't seem to sink in that for you they'll be no tomorrow. I don't need you to forgive me but give me a sign from above that you at least hear me. I do wish things would've ended differently, you were a good friend indeed. Now I'll be the one in pain and shame from my games that were misleading. And if you should miss me just know I've missed you too, I'll hold it down for you. I hope you found your place in heaven and I'll be seeing you soon, till it's my time too.