More child

by John Smallshaw
(London, England)

If I close my eyes and count to ten
Will you still be there..
..when I open them again?
Will it be the same or is this just a childish game.

If I only count to three
Peep a bit..what will I see?
Perhaps I'll only count to two..will I still see you?

Can you see me when I close my eyes?
Or am I hidden away?
Is this another game to play..?


Do I count to two or three or ten..
..or shall I never close my eyes again?
Maybe I'll just close one and let the other smother me..
..with visions of futility.

A walk along the roads of maths
In numerals I write these paths
And wish that I could see...the numerics of my infancy.

Blinded by this digital stare..
..in my darkness are you there or have you gone?
Will I end by counting one?

If I close my eyes do futures die
Will I be stranded...left high and dry.
With no one within my reach.
If I could count up in my mind..I think I'd find..
..that everything would be okay.
But today I have to count aloud..numbers coat me in a shroud..
..are you still there?
Do you still care for me?
Testing..testing..
One..two..three.