Ode to a Scribbled Out Name

by Blair Dragmire

I won’t speak
The syllables that spell it
(No matter what they say)
I’ll keep it a secret forever
Like a love note
Tucked away in a hidden pocket
(Folded neatly, four times)
I’ll tell you this:
It’s the word that crosses my mind,
Passes my chapped lips
As I sleep,
Arms encircling a pillow,
A protector cloud
Every night
I think of it,
The name,
Written neatly in print
In your handwriting
(Which you say is a horror,
But I think is beautiful)
In the ink pen only you use
Your name is a number on
An abandoned house,
Shining bronze beneath
Layers of dust and decay
(I sit on the creaky steps)
Waiting for someone to come home
To make it shiny and new once more
To give it back the life it had
I could do that for you
You know I could
It’s not impossible, I promise
Your shine will return
But until then,
I’ll sit alone
Folding and unfolding
The secret love note
That is your name