reversible

by rasmithii
(Atlanta, GA)

Inside the ache is overwhelming. Beyond broken bones. Beyond stomach viruses. Beyond any scar any good shrink hopes to uncover.

Outside my stomach is flat. My arms have definition. My face has no scars.

Inside my mind won't focus. Sadness is not right, neither is depression, but darkness comes damn close.

Outside I’m dealing with CEO’s of multimillion dollar companies and carry myself well.

Inside a price tag hangs from what used to be my confidence and my hand grips the trigger that was my ego.

Outside my shoes and my shirt always work well together and never out of fashion.

Inside I need that freedom that death will give. Inside is rotting and covered with maggots. Inside is corrupt.

While outside wears a smile and wishes to those around me: peace be with you.

I fall to my knees and breathe one last prayer from inside;
Please Lord just turn me inside out.

01.20.11