Self Mutilation

by matthew scott harris
(schwenksville, pennsylvania)

literary food for thought.

Self Mutilation:

(ah bet thar iz an app for that!)
within unlit partial "FAKE abattoir"
sans wardrobe alcove
where dust bunnies didst allures
completing a simple task among
my never ending (Matthew's) list
of domestic chores

this undertaking engaged
thankfully while completely clothed,
and scrounging on all fours
nonchalantly picking up scattered detritus
including food crumbs

potential critters hors d'oeuvres
the spouse (ideally seated
on this same swivel chair
dashing off these lines

linkedin with this Macbook Pro) -
housing at least four scores
of word documents, she espied
the cheeky opportunity
that triggered many wars

within arms length the taut outline
of me 'lil derriere - re: rear end
temporarily dormant versus
when flatulence roars -

posterior flank hie
could not de fend
she playfully poked her finger
that didst dis send
within close vicinity of sphincter,
where rectal turgid business height tend

(most likely this husband not alone
getting tushy twerked) inn me own coal
less cents great movements got made
jabbing ma bung hole

while i happened
to be "blindly" groping
upon darkly cutout cubby hole
i.e. without wearing bifocals/ spectacles -

envision a human mole
thus amply qualified her role
to be literal and figurative
pain in the ass vole,

where much to my horror a flash
of red hot poker blind
momentary rage, did lash
out at me, when aye espied

a kitchen knife and acted rash
(how cutlery got in closet floor
a minor mystery
and potential topic de jure

for another poem)
to brandish sharp edge
around abdominal area
grabbed handle with left hand,
thence commenced to slash

rhythmically thwacking
wrist of right hand
then quickly dropped sharp implement
(as like a man momentarily possessed)
before rendering permanent harm
with a river of blood to wash.