terror

by Daniel A Pena
(Bridgeport ct)

Take a look into my mind.
I'm in a small 4 by 4
crouched down
hunched over
hugging my knees to my chest
trying to focus on my breathing
I hear the loud THUMP, THUMP, THUMP of my heart in my ears.
My eyes are clenched shut.
If I open them I'll be able to see my demons.
that hide in my nightmares trying to make themselves real.
My palms are sweaty
My hands are shaking
I try to open my eyes
but all i see is black.
Fear courses through my veins.
I used to be okay with the dark
I used to wait for the end of the day to come to be able to relish in the dark and the loneliness that comes with it.
But now
Everytime I close my eyes,
Everytime I go to sleep...
I feel fear take over my body
I feel my heart rate pick up.
I feel terror
Because in the dark,
I can see my demons making themselves known
They aren't in my head alone.
They are real
And they make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up
The walls are caving in.
crushing me.