Thinking About My Xs

by Jerry Simmons
(Philadelphia, PA)

They ain't thinking about you, time to move on man. They ain't worried about you, they done got a new dance. A hot new step to shake off the blues the bad news that you had to bring. No more cake, no reception, no three month salary ring. No church, no fancy clothes, no songs to slow jam thru. I try to forget the happy times and remember the pain. I’m crying as I write and type these words, love is so hard to explain. But I maintain and don’t reach out for your touch, your heart, even though I miss you much.
They ain't tripping off you cuz, you’s a non factor lost in time. They brought some new shoes the moment they walked out of your life. You the one reading the old love letters, the e-mails, and text messages. Come on son, get a grip, that ain't the last piece of pie on Earth. She ain't all that, but she helped me learn what a woman’s worth. I listen to our favorite songs and some slow jams all alone. I sit in grey corners waiting for your number to pop on my phone. I think of what to say if I answer and then reality strikes and my hope goes away.
They ain't waiting on you, let’s go to the club. She already got a dude and you home rubbing on yourself. You young and single, go mingle and get you some new honey. But see man I’m not some mack daddy looking for some playboy bunny. I want my baby back in my arms. Why doesn’t she remember when I could do no wrong? When I brought her nice things and rubbed her body? When we smiled and kissed and I was her hard piece of chocolate and she was my sweet hottie?
They don’t need you and you lost her. Let it burn, drink some beers and just say it was her fault. Let’s go to the bar and get white boy wasted. You can’t stay in this house forever so face it. Embrace it, the world, at least a billion more ladies. Yeah I hear you but none of them compare to my baby, my lady day, the way she would say, “I love you babe” or “I love you J”. I can’t believe she’s gone and I’m wrong to let my heart go away.
They don’t miss you? Which one? The drunk, or the jerk, or the liar who never wanted to make things work? Maybe the nut case or the butter face, or maybe even the one in six separate states. Or is it the married chick or the young dumb chick or that girl with the three kids who stole your, stuff? Call my bluff, but I don’t think any of them ever love you, they love what you did and could do. Shut it up man. You were the superhero always coming to the rescue. Captain, save those tricks, lick your lips, give her what she needs and give her everything you get.
They all hate you and don’t know why they dated you. They only want you close so they can mace you and tase you. Don’t let these ladies faze you J, remember you the man. Man I can’t live without her, I remember the promises thru the years, the hugs, the tears, our fears, come on love and bring her near. Bring her here so we can try again I hate being in love with my best friend. And then the song stops and I start to sweat. This is what happens when I think about my X……………………………….