unhappy Anniversary

by Kristina Emory
(Brookshire, TX)

Sitting here chatting with my buddy at the saloon.
Throwing back shots, about to head home soon.
"Today’s my anniversary, 10 years with the misses."
"It’s been 10 years!" He blimey replied, as he hisses.
Yep! "So what are you going to buy her on this special occasion?"
"I’m not sure what, but whatever it is it’ll be amazing.
Nothing too fancy just something simply from the heart."
"How about a painting? You know a work of art."
"That won’t affect her, I need something that is going to pursue."
"Well, she will feel warmth inside looking at a picture of you two."
"Now I don’t want to upset her on this joyous night.
It’ll only ponder her wonder of why did I plight."
"But wait, I think I got an idea." My buddy replied,
"Give her a gift certificate and stick it inside
Of the anniversary card, for her to receive
2 hours of great sex, any way she needs."
Wow! "That sounds grand, I hope all goes well."
"Anyhow, I’ll see you tomorrow and please do tell."
Now I’m all alone at the bar, taking my last shot.
Ready to head home, to give her all that I’ve got.
Stop at the store and pick up a bottle of rosé.
To set the mood; nice and cozy.
As I’m walking through the door, all smiles and blissful.
I handed her the card, patiently waiting all wishful.
Unhappy as she looked, I knew the gift certificate will bring her joy.
As she’s opening it with qualm, at first she seemed quite coy.
"What is this?" She asks, I replied, "Just read and you will perceive."
“2 hours of great sex, any way that I need”
As the grin on her face expanded, she shouted "Thanks for the flowers!"
And ran out the door yelling, "I’ll see you in 2 hours!"